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Uprooting Resistance to Change: A Memory Reconsolidation Demo with Glenn Livingston, PhD: PYP 583

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I share with Glenn my admiration for the book Immunity to Change, by Kegan and Lahey. It shows how resistance to (seemingly) desired change is often rooted in deep-seated beliefs and identities, which are typically unconscious.

Now we know the neurological details of that phenomenon, as well as the precise experiences necessary to overcome it. The science of memory reconsolidation has given us tools that we can use to rewrite old beliefs that keep us from achieving what we want.

That's not a new concept, especially in the touchy-feeling self-help world. What's new, and incredibly useful, is the understand of the conditions under which neural patterns in the brain can become “labile” — that is, open to change.

This gives coaches and therapists — and anyone who wants to help other people grow into their best selves — a powerful protocol for creating transformational change.

We now have an alternative to “counteractive” strategies, such as willpower, external constraints, and repeated exposure, to keep bad old habits at bay.

Glenn asked me to demonstrate the process with an issue he'd been struggling with.

He needed to restart his YouTube channel (about defeating food cravings and regaining control over one's eating), but he hadn't done so. Despite his clear knowing that it was an important step in building his business.

He was aware that part of the issue was his appearance; he had put on a few pounds since the last time he made lots of YouTube videos, and felt uncomfortable showing himself on screen to people who would turn to him for, among other things, weight loss.

Rather than coach him to “make a plan” and “put it on his calendar” and ask him lots of motivational interviewing questions about why this was important, I sought to help Glenn discover the emotional necessity of not putting his slightly heavier self on display.

What we got to first was a recognition of why his reluctance to make videos made perfect sense. Once he “owned” his agency in producing that symptom, he was able to disconfirm the core belief behind it.

And he reconnected with an essential part of his mission: to act with kindness and abolish shame in everyone he comes in contact with.

Enjoy!

Links

Immunity to Change, by Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey

Unlocking the Emotional Brain, by Bruce Ecker, Robin Ticic, and Laurel Hulley

How to Remove Trauma Response, by Alun Parry

The Art and Neuroscience of Transformational Change: Dr Tori Olds on PYP 553

Removing Trauma Response with Yes/And Healing: Alun Parry and Yael Zivan on PYP 572

Dr Howie Jacobson

This podcast is a labor of love and a way to give back to the world that has given me so much. That's why there aren't any sponsors (except me :).

My day job is helping leaders and their teams master their mindsets to remove all obstacles to heart-centered high performance.

Here are three gigs that I do:

1. Executive and Senior Leadership Mentoring and Facilitation

I work with high performing executive teams in organizations — and executive teams that need to become high  performing. My focus is mindset mastery, because it’s our mindsets that either support high performance or get in the way.

At this level, everyone’s got the skills and experience to excel and contribute at the highest level. What holds people back is mindset stuff: specifically the triggers that get them out of creative engagement and into fight-or-flight defensiveness.

My practice is all about teaching people to respond differently to those triggers by updating old maps — essentially removing the glitches that the triggers grab onto.

2. Executive Coaching: Quick Wins for High Performance

I work with individual executives and leaders, one on one. The program is called Quick Wins for High Performance, and what we do is, we work strategically on one or two areas that are holding you back and keeping you from performing at your best.

We reverse engineer the presenting problems — too much work and not enough time, underperforming employees and teams, maddening organizational inefficiencies, etc — and identify and rewire the suboptimal mindsets that are behind those problems.

The work is all about updating your mental maps so your actions and responses are always appropriate, proportionate, and strategic.

3. High Stakes Conversations for Fast Growing Small Business Teams

I help small business teams have high stakes conversations with skill, humor, and grace. When people feel safe, they can do their best, most creative, most collaborative work.

So that's what I do. If you'd like any of those results, drop me a line and tell me about yourself.

You CAN Change Other People!

Well, that's what Peter Bregman and I claim in our provocative book of that title.

What we really mean is, you can bring out the best in the people around you. If you think you're powerless to help people change, it's because you've been going about it the wrong way.

Discover our straightforward, replicable process here: You Can Change Other People.

 

Music

The Plant Yourself Podcast theme music, “Dance of Peace (Sabali Don),” is generously provided by Will Ridenour, a kora player from North Carolina who has trained with top Senegalese musicians.

It can be found on his first CD, titled Will Ridenour.

You can learn about Will, listen to more tracks, and buy music on his website, WillRidenour.com.

Gratitudes

Thanks to Plant Yourself podcast patrons – Kim Harrison – Lynn McLellan – Brittany Porter – Dominic Marro – Barbara Whitney – Tammy Black – Amy Good – Amanda Hatherly – Mary Jane Wheeler – Ellen Kennelly – Melissa Cobb – Rachel Behrens – Tina Scharf – Tina Ahern – Jen Vilkinofsky – David Byczek – Michele X – Elspeth Feldman – Leah Stolar – Allan Kristensen – Colleen Peck – Michele Landry – Jozina – Sara Durkacs – Kelly Cameron – Janet Selby – Claire Adams – Tom Fronczak – Jeannette Benham – Gila Lacerte – David Donohue – Blair Seibert – Doron Avizov – Gio and Carolyn Argentati – Jodi Friesner – Mischa Rosen – Michael Worobiec – AvIvA Lael – Alicia Lemus – Val Linnemann – Nick Harper – Bandana Chawla – Molly Levine – The Inscrutable Harry R – Susan Laverty the Panda Vegan – Craig Covic – Adam Scharf – Karen Bury – Heather Morgan – Nigel Davies – Marian Blum – Teresa Kopel – Julian Watkins – Brid O'Connell – Shannon Herschman – Linda Ayotte – Holm Hedegaard – Isa Tousignant – Connie Haneline – Erin Greer – Alicia Davis – Heather O'Connor – Carollynne Jensen – Sheri Orlekoski of Plant Powered for Health – Karen Smith – Scott Mirani – Karen and Joe Crabtree – Kirby Burton – Theresa Carrell – Kevin Macaulay – Elizabeth Rothschild – Ann Jesse – Sheryl Dwyer – Jenny Hazelton – Peter W Evans – Dennis Bird – Darby Kelly – Lori Fanney – Linnea Lundquist – Emily Iaconelli – Levi Wallach – Rosamonde McAtee – Dan Pokorney – Stephen Leinin – Patty DeMartino – Mike and Donna Kartz – Deanne Bishop – Bilberry Elf – Marjorie Lewis – Tricia Adams – Nancy Sheldon – Lindsey Bashore – Gunn Marit Hagen – Tracey Gulledge – Lara Hedin – Meg from Mamasezz – Stacey Stokes – Ben Savage – Michael K – David Hughes -Coni Rodgers – Claire England – Sally Robertson – Parham Ganchi – Amy Dailey – Brian Tourville – Mark Jeffrey Johnson – Josie Dempsey – Caryn Schmitt – Pamela Hayden – Emily Perryman – Allison Corbett – Richard Stone – Lauren Vaught of Edible Musings – Erin Hastey – Sean Owens – Sagar Naik – Erika Piedra – Danielle Roberts – Michael Leuchten – Sarah Johnson – Katharine Floyd – Meryl Fury – for your generous support of the podcast.

Disclosure

This post may contain amazon affiliate links. I may receive compensation from your actions on such links. It don't cost you a dime, tho.

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